The loss of another pregnancy

So after grieving over the miscarriage in November 2013, it has been a crazy year. 

First, I finished up my bachelors in business in December and walked in the graduation ceremony on April 25th, 2014.  The Next day, by back started hurting; I had MAJOR sciatica pain that traveled all the way down to my toes.  They put me on some strong pain meds and sent me to physical therapy.  I went to physical therapy for over a month, they never could figure out what was causing my back pain. 

The day after my graduation I was offered a big promotion at work.  I decided to take the promotion.  So I’m not the Monticello Branch manager of the San Juan Credit Union. This involves a lot more paper work but less physical activity. I also commute 25 miles (one way) each day.

My 33rd birthday was in May, The day after my birthday I took a pregnancy test and it came back FAST as positive.  I had been feeling sick but didn't put two and two together. Ron and I had both decided to hold off on telling everyone about the pregnancy until we seen the baby on the ultrasound so we wouldn’t have a repeat of last time.

So I got off the pain meds and made it to my first prenatal appointment on June 6^th.  At the first prenatal appointment we were in for a great surprise.  The doctor had a hand held ultrasound machine, and he was able to show us our little baby moving around and the strong heartbeat.  We were so relieved and joyful. WE HAD A BABY!!!!  It was wonderful news after the lack of baby in October/November.  We finally figured it was safe enough to start telling people.  A couple of weeks later we had our ultrasound, and we were happy to see the baby doing so well, it was moving around alright and we were able to get a few nice ultrasound pictures as keep sakes. 

Over the following month everything seemed to be progressing nicely, I had set up the next prenatal appointment for Friday, July 11th. During this pregnancy I had a lot of nausea/morning sickness that I had never experienced with my previous pregnancies. I was finally getting some relief after the 14 week mark or my pregnancy.  With each passing week I rejoiced in the fact that our baby was developing and growing fine, and that our chances of miscarriage decreased with every day.  Until the first day of my 16^th week.

me at 15 weeks pregnant

one week before the miscarriage

It was Saturday July 5^th, the day after we were out celebrating our countries independence. I wasn’t feeling extremely well on the night of the 4^th, I felt like my body was shacking all over, I played it up to too much actives and sun on the 4^th.  I went to bed that night; when I woke up the next morning I had a lot of lower stomach pain I played it up to bowel problems.  I figured my son had passed his stomach flu on to me that he had had a week prior. We went about our normal Saturday routine until the pain got unbearable.  I had asked my husband to take me home, I felt as if I was going to be sick.  When I got home I felt a gush of blood, I ran to the bathroom to confirm it was blood and I had Ron call the ER.

(Caution: the next few paragraphs are quite graphic, proceed with caution)

The hospital told us to get in immediately.  I put a pad on and made my way to the ER.  The pad was soaked by the time they pulled me into the ER.  The nurse got my Waite and height, when I asked her for a new pad so I could go change before I made a mess.  She handed me the pad and I proceeded into the rest room.  I locked to door behind me out of habit.  I went to the bathroom and that is when the baby came out. The baby was still attached to me through umbilical cord.  The baby was not moving.  I pulled the nurse call string. It took the nurse a while to get the door unlocked and get in to help me. They helped me remove the baby and they put it in a specimen cup.  The nurse asked if I had wanted to see it, I originally told her no, but then my curiosity got the better of me and I had to look. The baby was a normal pink color, and it was a girl.  The baby was about 5-6 inches long and perfectly formed.  It was my perfect precious angel.

The nurses proceeded to get me up and in a wheel chair, they decided I was better off in an OB room in the hospital instead of the emergency room.  Once in my room they helped me to get changed into a hospital gown and into bed.  I went to the bathroom again shortly after that and passed some of the placenta came out. They finally let my mom into the room with us. To make a long story short, after several hours the doctor can in and cleaned out more of the placenta.  My blood count kept going down and they were worried about it.  With my last blood transfusion my body made another antibody.  So I’m Very hard to match my blood.  I’m A+ and Antibody P and Antibody E.  My blood count started going back up and my pain and bleeding subsided, so they were able to release me by 8pm.

            The kids were happy to see us and we proceeded on with a normal night.  I went to bed that night, and half way thru the night I started cramping.  The cramping continued into the next day.  I had tried Midol, ibuprofen, and a hot pad nothing help the cramping. I called the clinic first thing Monday morning; they originally told me they couldn’t fill me in. I was devastated.  I informed the receptionist my situation.  They changed their tone quickly.  The receptionist decided they would figure something out and call me back.  After a few minutes I got the first call back asking some questions. Then about 30 minutes later they had an appointment for me to have an ultrasound done at 10am.  Ronnie was able to put one hour in at work and come and get me to go to the hospital.  I was still cramping quite a lot.  In the ultrasound they found a bit of tissue left behind that was attached to my scar from my C-sections. It needed removed via D&C.  They moved me around a few places in the hospital here in Blanding, until we came to rest in the ER. None of the doctors or nurses were sure where I was, Ron and I joked they were playing “Find the patient.” Finally after several phone calls and arrangements they decided my best option was to go to Grand Junction to St. Mary’s for a D&C.  They had access to blood if I needed it.  So Ron and I proceeded home and then onto our 200 mile drive to Grand Junction. The kids were worried by they had Grandma & Grandpa to care for them.

I could not eat or drink anything the entire time. I only had one banana that morning. I did however drink water on the way over.  The Blanding Doctor had sent me with some anti-nausea medication; it helped with my motion sickness.  We arrived in Grand Junction within 3 hours of leaving Blanding. The ER receptionist had no idea what to do with me. She had to make many calls to see what to do with me.  Eventually they admitted me to the ER. Once I was dressed in my unflattering hospital clothes. They started hooking me up to all the monitors and other devices.  We sat in the ER waiting for over 4 hours while they were making sure they had my blood ready. The Doctor was able to come in and talk with me a few times.  She took the CD that Blanding sent with us to give the Dr. the ultra sound that morning. Dr. Simms took the CD and reviewed it with her radiologist. She came back with the same conclusion as the Blanding Radiologist. Finally after 8pm they were able to have my blood ready and on hand.  They moved me up to the Operating room to start the procedure. Their medication worked great to knock me out and the next thing I knew the procedure was done and I was on my way to my room for the night. They didn’t need to give me blood, the procedure went well and everything removed nicely once they were in there.  They took another vile of blood to check my blood count, it was still up. 

We stayed the night in room 727 and were able to be released the next morning.  By that time my bleeding was minimal and we were sent home. Everyone at the hospital was surprised I was not more emotional.  All in all I was quite proud of myself for not having a breakdown.  We did a little shopping and headed home. I was doing alright, we made it home safely and sound.  Both our kids were happy to see us home.

About 30 minutes after being home I got a call from the Blanding hospital; they needed information for the Death Certificate.  My body and mind went into shut down mode.  I know I needed to answer these questions, and then it would be over.  I answered all their questions clean and clear.  The death certificate was needed since I was over 15 weeks along. I started to break down when she asked me a name; we had not had time to pick a name out yet. So the name was left blank.  Once I hung up the phone I broke down crying. That was my finally straw and I couldn’t hold back anymore.

It is the first day since the miscarriage that I have been home without anything to keep my mind off of the situation. However, I feel like I’m handling it fine considering. We have talked about being sterilized so we don’t have to go thru this again. Two times in a row is more than enough for me. We will have to Waite and see what the future holds.